Anything Songs
Where Can My Beer Cans Go? lyrics
Verse 1
I finished off a cold one, then another for good cheer,
Looked around the kitchen, said, "What happened here?"
Empty cans are stacking like a silver mountain range,
Taking back the empties shouldn't feel this strange.
The Beer Store used to take 'em,
Refund every dime,
Now the closest one's a road trip,
And I ain't got the time.
Chorus
Where can my beer cans go?
Somebody tell me 'cause I'd really like to know.
They say, "Take 'em back,"
But where's the place?
I'm driving half of Ontario
Just to save some space.
Where can my beer cans go?
I'm buried in aluminum from my head down to my toes.
Help me out, somebody, please...
I can't move around my house
For empty beer debris!
Verse 2
They're closing Beer Stores fifty to one,
Then opening one somewhere under the sun.
Travel for miles just to get my refund,
Without a car, well... that ain't much fun.
I'm too old to ride my bike,
With a hundred cans behind.
I'd probably tip into the ditch
Before the end of the line.
Chorus
Where can my beer cans go?
The Beer Store happily takes them... if you can get there though!
The grocery stores sell the beer,
But won't take back the can.
I'm scratching my head saying,
"Someone explain the plan!"
Bridge
I wonder if I can pay my taxes with beer cans?
Roll into city hall with bags in both hands.
"Here's my property tax,"
I'd proudly declare...
They'd probably laugh and point me elsewhere.
Now what about the cans
That never make it back?
Where does all that deposit money stack?
Some gets split around,
Some goes to the government too...
Then they spend money telling me
To return them... if I knew where to!
Verse 3
Can you get beer in a box?
Maybe plastic bags instead?
Anything to stop these towers
Growing by my bed.
My garage is full,
The basement's next.
I'm living in a can museum—
This is getting complex!
Final Chorus
Where can my beer cans go?
Ontario, I really need to know.
Make it easy, make it fair,
Don't send me on a treasure hunt
To find a place somewhere.
Where can my beer cans go?
Help me solve this mystery before they overflow.
I've got refunds waiting,
I've got nowhere near...
Somebody solve the problem—
And while you're at it...
Pass me another beer!
